I have not been here to write in well over two months. I could use the obvious excuse of having a newborn to take care of and a first grader to help with homework, but that would be a lie.
I haven’t been motivated to write anything in quite some time. To be honest, the last few posts here have been a serious effort (with the obvious exception of posting the pictures of the baby). I know that this blog was not one of the more “quality” blogs out there, it was kind of my little place to vent and just rave about whatever bullshit had been going on in my life., but regardless, I know that writing here helped my head from turning into a catastrpohe of epic proportions; one that would need a medicine cabinet full of pills to fix.
I have found a little more inspiration, and I will be sure to come back more frequently beginning tomorrow. Tonight I just wanted to come back and say hello and yes, I am still alive, to those who care.
Tomorrow it will all be over. With any hope, 24 hours from now, I will be holding my little baby girl in my arms. Monday when I went to my doctor appointment, I was told that I had not dilated an further than previously, and that induction would be on the schedule for as soon as fucking possible ( I added the “fucking” because I have been waiting FOREVER). Yay! By the time I left the office I had orders to be at the hospital Tuesday morning at 8am.
Not fifteen minutes later, as I am literally walking in the door to my house, the phone is ringing. It is the doctors office, calling to let me know that the hospital doesn’t have a bed for me Tuesday, but that Thursday for sure at 7am they would. DAMMIT! Two extra days of waiting – don’t they understand how TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT I am over here? I am pushing maximum capacity – I cannot grow any larger, and I am so fucking sick of having heartburn. I just want this baby out.
So here I am, the night before I go in to the hospital, practically giving myself an anxiety attack from knowing I have to wait until tomorrow morning. I have the bag packed, the infant seat installed in the car, the crib set up, the clothes washed. I am 100% ready, all I need is the baby.
The minutes pare passing like hours.
I took Kamy out today for a special trip to the mall, to pick out some special gifts of her choice for her, and to lunch that she got to pick. Amazing enough, she didn’t pick McDonalds or some other fast food place that I cannot stomach (yet another side effect of this pregnancy, and let me tell you, I MISS FRENCH FRIES! They make me ill so I haven’t eaten them in months). She chose for us to eat lunch at the Elephant Bar much to my delight. I had me some cashew chicken and cheesy garlic bread, and boy was it fucking great. The heartburn I am getting from the lunch was well worth it.
So yeah, here I am waiting again, but with so much less time to wait. I have it on order for my best friend to have a tall, cold bottle of Mountain Dew ready for me after I push the baby out – it was worse giving that up than giving up cigarettes. I am not joking.
I will post pictures of the baby as soon as I feel like I can think again after she is born. Yay for me, its nearly over!
Ok, so I should start by saying that I am a bad person for not updating since the last post. I had my follow up appointment the Tuesday after the ultrasound, and after waiting in the exam room for approximately 45 minutes, the doctor came in and didn’t even remember she had me go for the ultrasound. I had to ask what the results were, and she had to go search them out in order to give them to me. The results showed that the baby weighed around 6 pounds, give or take a pound, which is small, but not TOO small. She said that everything seemed normal, and I should not have worried.
I should not have worried? Yeah ok, tell a woman who is 36 weeks into her pregnancy something could be wrong and then expect her not to worry? Yeah, I want whatever drugs she is on, because apparently they made her delusional.
Anyways, I went back again this past Tuesday for another routine check, and found out that I was dilated to 1, and if I made it to the appointment next Monday, she would go ahead and induce me next week, probably Tuesday. Yes, she totally redeemed herself from the previous week, because anything I can do to have this baby out of me sooner makes me happy. In order to hasten the pace of this, I have been walking everywhere, and entertaining thoughts of drinking castor oil (not really, blehhhh). Yeah, needless to say, I am READY to meet this little girl.
In other news, I cut all of Kamy’s hair off. I have never cut it in her entire six years of life, and she had been bugging me to get it cut for about two months now, so I went ahead and did it. I saved a lock of her hair, since the hair at the bottom was the hair she had on her head as a baby, and I chopped it all off. She now has a chin length bob, and looks absofuckinglutely adorable! She also has a loose tooth on the bottom row, which should probably fall out within the next few days. Oh my god, my baby is growing up, and here I am starting over with another baby. All of this makes me think I am fucking insane, which for the most part is true, but man – what was I thinking?
So, yeah, I will try to post another update next week before I have the baby, and then obviously, post pictures of the new addition as soon as I have the energy.
Here though, in the tradition of posting something from YouTube (which I haven’t done in a long time), is a little something I FINALLY got to see, called “Charlie the Unicorn”. This shit is HILARIOUS!
Shun the non-believer, Shun, SHUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
Hahaha, I love it,
So, with the countdown being SO on my side at this point – we are talking mere DAYS here people, the baby is due to be here in, like, 23 days or something and my anxiety has reached its all time high point. Posting has been non-existent for a few weeks, clearly, but only because the fatigue and all around feeling of SLOTH have pretty much taken over me. I dont use the word SLOTH lightly either, I feel absolutely useless most of the day.
When I was this pregnant with Kamy, I would literally sleep until noon everyday, and usually have a late afternoon nap. This cannot be done, with the simple fact that I have her gorgeous six year old behind to look after on the daily. Not to mention that this week, my poor sister in law had to go back to work for the last month of her stores duration (Linens and Things is closing all its California stores, and she has to go back in order to get her severance), so I have the wonderful pleasure of babysitting my ever so adorable three month old niece Audrey. This is way too fun for me, because I love that little girl so effing much it makes my heart have palpitations.
Two weeks ago this Saturday my cousin Heather threw me a baby shower, attended by all my family, and best friends. It was too much fun. Hot Boyfriend attended as well, and was even cool enough to let a bunch of women use him as the Baby in the “Toilet Paper Baby” game. His team did a damn good job too – they actually won the game. I was lucky enough to receive everything that I needed for this baby from everyone, and I even managed to have all the thank you notes filled out to be mailed tomorrow or Saturday. Two weeks is good timing for me, because I HATE writing thank you notes, I know they are important, but I hate doing them. But I did, and I am done, thankfully.
The doctor visits have shifted from monthly, to bi-monthly, to weekly now. The last three weeks I have gotten to go sit in the over crowded waiting room to be seen for a total of three minutes by one of the doctors at the OB office I go to. All has gone accordingly until Tuesday of this week, when the doctor decided to tell me that she is worried the baby might be too small. She gave me orders for another ultrasound, this time at the hospital where I will deliver, so that they can rule out IUGR. This has naturally made me a fucking headcase, because everything I have read about IUGR leads me to realize that it can be very bad for my baby.
I really dont know what else to write now. To be quite honest I am a blubbering idiot now that I got thinking about all this crap again. I think I need to chill out.
Keeping my fingers crossed,
The death of one of the most amazing stand up comedians in the history of American stand up has really made me sad. When I first heard the news that George Carlin had passed away on Saturday, I had to go to the bathroom to wipe away the snot from crying so hard. I know that may sound corny, or lame, but it is true. I absofuckinglutely LOVE George Carlin. His comedy was some of the most intellectually stimulating comedy I have ever heard. He had a knack for pushing the envelope, and really just taking his subjects the the next level. Some of his comedy was even banned from being played on the radio and television back in the 70’s, for being too “raunchy” shall we say.
Here is his famous “Seven Words” clip, watch and enjoy.
RIP George, you will be missed greatly.
The last week or so has been pretty hectic. From doctors appointments, to my daughter’s last day of kindergarten, to a mini-vacation in Palm Springs, the constant “going-going-going” feeling has taken over. I had my 30 week appointment last Tuesday, and found out that everything is fine, but I wont be having another ultrasound, like I did with Kamy, unless the doctor suspects something is wrong. Good news I suppose, but I almost think that another ultrasound would put my mind more at ease that everything is ok with my baby girl, who we have decided to name Lilly Grace.
Monday my mother and I went to an awards ceremony at Kamy’s school, where she was awarded a “Perfect Attendance” award for the third trimester. Kamy was SO EXCITED to see us in the crowd as she walked in, and she was even more surprised to hear her name being called to get an award. Wednesday was her last day of kindergarten and the four kindergarten classes had an ice cream sundae party to celebrate the last day. Needless to say, 80+ five and six year olds mixed with ice cream, hot fudge, gummi bears, and sprinkles can make for one HUGE mess. But it was worth it to see the kids having fun – messy, stcky fun. I nearly cried when I gave Kamy’s teacher a thank you card for being so wonderful to her all year. It was a good end to the school year though, and I am now anxiously anticipating the beginning of my daughter’s first grade year. She is growing up so fucking fast, it scares me. And to think I am starting this cycle all over again – am I fucking nuts or what?
After school on Wednesday, the Hot Boyfriend and I picked up Kamy and surprised her with a trip to Palm Springs, where my parents have a time share, and were gracious enough to let us use it for a few days. We arrived around 1:30pm, and were in the pool within the hour. Kamy was hurling herself down the water slide, and doing handstands in the water for nearly four hours before we realized it may be time to go ahead and have some dinner. We went back to the room and cooked up some dinner and chilled out for the rest of the night. Thursday and Friday were more of the same, relax by or in the pool, with some breaks for lunch and dinner, and watching the Laker game Thursday night with MUCH disappointment. Friday we came home, and spent the evening watching movies, bumming it.
Saturday, oh Saturday. I finally got to meet the Hot Boyfriends daughter, who is abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous! She lives with her mother in Northern California, sp opportunities to see her are few and far between, due to unforeseen circumstances. She is going to be two years old in August, and she is tiny, and blond and so cute! I totally fell in love. Unfortunately, she was only available to visit for a short period of time, but I know it made my man feel good to see his baby; I could see how happy he was to have her in his arms the whole time. I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to meet her. Kamy kept talking about how she was her “big step sister” and I think that made him feel good to know that he is regarded so highly in Kamy’s life, as well as mine.
Later that evening, after Kamy went for an over nighter with her dad, Hot Boyfriend and I made our way to La Habra for my cousin Erica’s graduation party. She graduated from UC Irvine earlier that day, and she had a damn good party. There was a keg, which made me slightly sad honestly, because my first thought was “KEG STANDS!” of which I cannot participate (at least not for two more months wink wink). She had Asian food and a damn good cake, and champagne and lots of friends around her. It really was a good party, and I am very proud of my cousin for achieving what she has achieved. Hot Boyfriend and I ducked out around 10pm though, which was probably for the best because after we left, all the “drunk drama” started, so we missed that part, thankfully.
Yesterday was spent with family, and I got to see my gorgeous niece again. She is still so little, but I can see how much she has grown already, and it is hard to believe that she is 7 weeks old already! Where does time go? Seeing my niece makes me more and more anxious to meet Lilly, and let me tell you, the remaining 8.5 weeks cannot pass fast enough. Later on, the entire family gorged ourselves on shrimp scampi and crab legs, and we all lounged around with full bellies for the rest of the evening. A nice end to a pretty busy week.
Today Hot Boyfriend started a new job, one that pays better and almost guarantees lots of overtime, so it looks like things are finally going our way, and we will be able to start Seriously saving money so we can buy a house within the next year, and get married. He keeps telling me he wants to propose only when he can afford to buy me a two carat diamond – I am FINE with that! Hello two carats, I can ice skate on two carats! Anyways, today is a lazy day, just getting all the addresses together for my cousin to plan the Baby Shower she is throwing for me in July. Just another thing to make me want my baby to get here already!
Getting more hectic each day,