Half Baked and Half Naked

Archive for April 2008

So, last week during all the chaos, I checked my email account, and much to my surprise, I got my first HATEMAIL responses! Actually, they were left as comments, but since I have to approve my comments, I had the chance to read them before I let them be posted. To be quite honest, I feel absolutely validated for all of my efforts in the blogosphere now – because I am a true masochist to the heart.

The responses came to a post I wrote WAY back in November, called Good Enough. In the post, I was basically admitting my ever growing love for Amy Lee and her band, Evanescence. Yes, I did say she was emo, and probably needed some anti-depressants, but really, who in their right mind doesn’t think that?

Well, apparently there is one moron out there who took my post as some sort of lesbian-stalker style post, and got offended at the fact that I STATED THE TRUTH. How dare I do that on my own personal blog? Oh, the audacity of me to write my own opinion, which is shared by pretty much every other SANE person I have met. I figured all you faithful, intelligent, and non retarded readers might be amused by these comments, so I am going to be nice and post what she left me. I have faith that you all are like I am, and you are going to laugh your asses off at just how offended she got regarding the post.

“hey, who ever calls her a poor depressed woman is  wrong,have any of you guys watch any where but home??? well she not depressed her music is away of expressing her fealings and it’s really good music. so fuck you Amy lee rocks”

Let us not get started on the fact that this girl clearly cannot spell, or use proper grammatical practices – she must have been in the midst of a really crazy breakdown at the fact that I wrote the post. But, after reading this first one, I was surprised by the fact that she felt it was necessary to throw this one in for good measure:

“she not lesbaid shes married you have an obsession with her, i bet if she ever met you she would be really freaked out!!”

My only question regarding  this one: What is a LESBAID? I resisted the temptation to write back to this girl, and set her straight on the fact that she is clearly a moron, but I am printing these two comments out, and hanging them on my wall of fame, along with the letters of denial I got from Notre Dame University back in high school, and the picture of my first “real” boyfriend in high school – Pete (he dumped my because I wouldn’t let him put his hands down my pants).

Oh yeah, if anyone wants her email address, I have it, so just write me, and I will be happy to share it with you!

I really do feel validated,

K

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On Friday, April 25, my niece entered this world. At 7:36pm, she was born; weighing 6lbs 12ozs, an 20.5 inches long. She is the most tiny, gorgeous, fragile little being – and I love her SO much!

I cant wait to spoil her,

K

Found out today that my niece will be here sooner than we think! My brothers g/f is dilated to 3 already, and her doctor thinks it will be any time now!

I am so excited!!!

Anxious,

K

Saturday night was spent at some relatives house for a surprise birthday party for my Uncle. The 50’s themed party went off pretty well, with my uncle doing his best to look surprised when he walked into the party he already knew about. No one had tipped him off, but he figured it out on his own at some point, and never let anyone know. By the end of the night, my uncle was piss ass drunk and making a fool of himself in only the best way. Good times.

Sunday, however, was a much more busy day. After getting up early to stuff 12 goody bags, I had to run errands to pick up Kamys birthday cake, some 2 liters of soda, a birthday card (how I forgot that I will never figure out), and some birthday donuts for breakfast. By 11am we were loaded in the car and on our merry way to the party venue for the 6 year old birthday bash 6 weeks in the making.

Much to my disappointment, only 5 of the invited 25 guests actually showed up for the party. I should not have been surprised, since the five who showed were the only five who actually did RSVP. I guess I was just let down by the family members who never even bothered to call, even though my daughter and I have attended every one of their parties.

Regardless of the class-less people who didn’t show up, my 6 year old had SO MUCH FUN. She ran around like a banshee and got crazy with all the kids who did show up, and then chowed down on her pizza and cake before opening the mound of presents brought to her by the family and kids that did show up. She was spoiled, and it didn’t seem to phase her that the party was unattended by more than 75% of the guest list.

Later that evening, seven of us piled in our cars and drove to Wabi Sabi, a teppan steakhouse somewhat like Bennihana for her celebratory dinner. Yes, my 6 year old loves this place. She loves the “big fire” and the “volcano” and the cool knife tricks that our cook does. Her favorite part is trying to catch a piece of zucchini that he flips off his spatula through the air into her mouth. She didn’t actually catch it, but she laughed each time he tried. Over all it was a good day and night, and she really was spoiled. The gift giving spilled over into Monday, with two kids from her school bringing her gifts in lieu of not attending her party, and another of my cousins coming over after she got out of school to give Kamy more gifts.

I feel like I accomplished my mission to give her a good birthday; which will be the last one she has before she is no longer the only child/grandchild. My niece is due in 15 days, and my second daughter will be here in less than 4 months; then Kamy’s world will totally change, so I feel like I need to make these last few months as fun as I can for her.

I’m trying,

K

Sunday will mark six years since I gave birth to my favorite little monster, Kamy. I had to be induced since apparently she liked being inside me so much she never wanted to come out. I was over a week past my due date, and I was miserable. After sixteen hours of labor (only 6 of which were actually painful), my daughter was born. She was 9lbs 1oz, 20.5 inches long. Yes, I had a 9 pound baby. Ouch – that’s all I’m saying.

We are having a birthday party for her on Sunday, at Wild Kingdom; an “inflatable” party venue for kids. I know she is looking forward to it, because she has been counting down the days until her party all week long.

She reminds me of me with the countdown, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Mother of a Six Year Old,

K

My ever so smart boyfriend just called me to find out the mailing address to send his taxes to. Yes, he waited until the VERY LAST MINUTE. Yes, he was super frustrated because TurboTax didn’t give him the addresses apparetntly, but does that constitute him yelling at me when I can not just give him the answer off the top of my head?

No, it doesn’t. And I yelled right back that if he wanted help he would need to learn how to respectfully ask for it.

We hung up, he magically found the addresses on his own, and then he called me back to freak out about how to find a post office that was open until midnight tonight, because he already missed the normal post office hours. I “magically” found the nearest post office to him that was open, and when I tried to give him the directions he proceeded to chew me out that I wasn’t giving him the address in the way he expected me to. I once again reiterated that if he wanted help he needed to CHILL THE FUCK OUT and not yell at me for helping his procrastinating ass. Then I gave him the address and directions.

He then proceeded to praise me on how I was the “Bestest Girlfriend EVER!”

To which my response was “then remember that the next time you are frustrated and want me to give you the answer to something and decide to YELL at me for no reason.”

He actually apologized, for once.

Baby steps,

K

So, today I had an appointment in a local office, and was not the least bit surprised to find that I was the only white person in the office – and needless to say I was the only English speaker. What disgusted me about this was the thirty children who were also brought along by their mothers, and left unattended to run around like wild animals. I guess what upsets me more is the fact that about 95% of these children had silver teeth, snotty noses, and dirty faces.

“How does a small child end up with silver teeth” I thought to myself, but then the answer was shown to me. One of the children, probably at least three years old, fell down and began to cry. His mother ran over to him, picked him up, and proceeded to stick a bottle of juice in his mouth to stop him from crying. HELLO! Do these parents ever consider the fact that children over the age of 12-18 months are not supposed to be sucking on bottles? Juice in a bottle can rot a childs teeth, and apparently, this is not a concern for these mothers. You see, the wonderful state of California will pay for them to have silver caps put on their teeth, at no cost to the parent.

Must be nice, to have the luxury of knowing that you can sit back and loaf off of the system and allow your children to run around filthy, and ill, and never have to answer to anyone. All at the expense of Jane and John Taxpayer. I am one of the people who had to jump through hoops when Kamy was a baby, in order to utilize certain programs offered by the state, all while I was working and paying taxes myself. I guess I have an issue with people who get to use every possible resource, and not do anything but have additional children in order to continue to qualify for these programs. But in reality, if these programs are offered to make sure families are healthy, then why the hell are people who are clearly not trying to keep their kids healthy allowed to use these resources still? Tooth decay is not healthy. Snotty noses are not healthy. Why cant these issues be reason enough to disqualify parents from these programs?

Oh thats right, because it would make sense, and be too easy to cut off all those lazy fucks who choose to use resources I work hard to pay for.

Fuck this,

K