Half Baked and Half Naked

Archive for the ‘Seriously?’ Category

The death of one of the most amazing stand up comedians in the history of American stand up has really made me sad. When I first heard the news that George Carlin had passed away on Saturday, I had to go to the bathroom to wipe away the snot from crying so hard. I know that may sound corny, or lame, but it is true. I absofuckinglutely LOVE George Carlin. His comedy was some of the most intellectually stimulating comedy I have ever heard. He had a knack for pushing the envelope, and really just taking his subjects the the next level. Some of his comedy was even banned from being played on the radio and television back in the 70’s, for being too “raunchy” shall we say.

Here is his famous “Seven Words” clip, watch and enjoy.

RIP George, you will be missed greatly.

K

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So, last week during all the chaos, I checked my email account, and much to my surprise, I got my first HATEMAIL responses! Actually, they were left as comments, but since I have to approve my comments, I had the chance to read them before I let them be posted. To be quite honest, I feel absolutely validated for all of my efforts in the blogosphere now – because I am a true masochist to the heart.

The responses came to a post I wrote WAY back in November, called Good Enough. In the post, I was basically admitting my ever growing love for Amy Lee and her band, Evanescence. Yes, I did say she was emo, and probably needed some anti-depressants, but really, who in their right mind doesn’t think that?

Well, apparently there is one moron out there who took my post as some sort of lesbian-stalker style post, and got offended at the fact that I STATED THE TRUTH. How dare I do that on my own personal blog? Oh, the audacity of me to write my own opinion, which is shared by pretty much every other SANE person I have met. I figured all you faithful, intelligent, and non retarded readers might be amused by these comments, so I am going to be nice and post what she left me. I have faith that you all are like I am, and you are going to laugh your asses off at just how offended she got regarding the post.

“hey, who ever calls her a poor depressed woman is  wrong,have any of you guys watch any where but home??? well she not depressed her music is away of expressing her fealings and it’s really good music. so fuck you Amy lee rocks”

Let us not get started on the fact that this girl clearly cannot spell, or use proper grammatical practices – she must have been in the midst of a really crazy breakdown at the fact that I wrote the post. But, after reading this first one, I was surprised by the fact that she felt it was necessary to throw this one in for good measure:

“she not lesbaid shes married you have an obsession with her, i bet if she ever met you she would be really freaked out!!”

My only question regarding  this one: What is a LESBAID? I resisted the temptation to write back to this girl, and set her straight on the fact that she is clearly a moron, but I am printing these two comments out, and hanging them on my wall of fame, along with the letters of denial I got from Notre Dame University back in high school, and the picture of my first “real” boyfriend in high school – Pete (he dumped my because I wouldn’t let him put his hands down my pants).

Oh yeah, if anyone wants her email address, I have it, so just write me, and I will be happy to share it with you!

I really do feel validated,

K

So, today I had an appointment in a local office, and was not the least bit surprised to find that I was the only white person in the office – and needless to say I was the only English speaker. What disgusted me about this was the thirty children who were also brought along by their mothers, and left unattended to run around like wild animals. I guess what upsets me more is the fact that about 95% of these children had silver teeth, snotty noses, and dirty faces.

“How does a small child end up with silver teeth” I thought to myself, but then the answer was shown to me. One of the children, probably at least three years old, fell down and began to cry. His mother ran over to him, picked him up, and proceeded to stick a bottle of juice in his mouth to stop him from crying. HELLO! Do these parents ever consider the fact that children over the age of 12-18 months are not supposed to be sucking on bottles? Juice in a bottle can rot a childs teeth, and apparently, this is not a concern for these mothers. You see, the wonderful state of California will pay for them to have silver caps put on their teeth, at no cost to the parent.

Must be nice, to have the luxury of knowing that you can sit back and loaf off of the system and allow your children to run around filthy, and ill, and never have to answer to anyone. All at the expense of Jane and John Taxpayer. I am one of the people who had to jump through hoops when Kamy was a baby, in order to utilize certain programs offered by the state, all while I was working and paying taxes myself. I guess I have an issue with people who get to use every possible resource, and not do anything but have additional children in order to continue to qualify for these programs. But in reality, if these programs are offered to make sure families are healthy, then why the hell are people who are clearly not trying to keep their kids healthy allowed to use these resources still? Tooth decay is not healthy. Snotty noses are not healthy. Why cant these issues be reason enough to disqualify parents from these programs?

Oh thats right, because it would make sense, and be too easy to cut off all those lazy fucks who choose to use resources I work hard to pay for.

Fuck this,

K

It is official, I am having another little girl. Due date didn’t change, still August 16.

So this proves that my Hot Boyfriend only makes girl babies! It’s ok by me though!


Excited,

K

Yet another politician has been found to have gotten his dick wet on a prostitute. Elliott Spitzer, Governor of New York, has admitted to sleeping with prostitutes. One in particular has been named, and her picture is now being plastered all over the internet, and all news channels. What I don’t understand is why everyone acts so fucking surprised when these high profile men do things like this? Because they are politicians? Because they are married? Because they are men? Guess what; adultery, be it gay or straight, is a LOT more common than anyone wants to admit. Just because someone is in the public eye, it doesn’t mean they are not just as human as the rest of us “regular” people.

Kobe Bryant did it, but the bitch tried to get his money by falsely accusing him of rape. Magic Johnson did it, and ended up with HIV. Hugh Grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley (what a fucking MORON) with an UGLY prostitute, which is even worse. Eric Benet cheated on Halle Berry, and she won a fucking Oscar. Bill Clinton did it (ok, he made some bad decisions though, he could have at least picked a fucking hot broad). Larry Craig did it too, in the fucking men’s bathroom even. And I personally know plenty of “regular” men and women who have cheated on their spouses or significant others. It is more common than we all admit.

Who knows why the guy did it, but who fucking cares really? Maybe his wife hasn’t given him any in years, or maybe when she does let him fuck her all she does is lay there and pant? Who fucking cares, just because he is a politician, that does not mean he is not human.

No, I am not condoning this behavior, because I have been cheated on myself. What I am saying, is quit opening the 5 o’clock news with this story, and quit plastering it on the front page of my newspaper; I would much rather hear about what we are doing to get our men and women out of Iraq as quickly and as safely as possible.

Looking at this picture though, I can definitely say without a doubt, that I would have tried to fuck her too if I had a cock and needed it that bad.

id-hit-that.jpg

Tell me she doesn’t look tasty.

Yeah, I didn’t think you could,

K

First let me start by saying that I am sorry to have not written in a while. To be quite honest, I have been battling my hormones/emotions for the last month or so, and I think I might have a better grip now than I have in a while. Oh, and I took off the Heath Ledger post because I got really tired of looking at that picture of him.

Quick highlight, I got the most hits I have ever gotten yesterday, so thanks to those of you who are still reading me, or have Googled “Amy Lee” and clicked on my page. You made me want to write again, so here I am.

Lately, other than job hunting and being a vessel for my Hot Boyfriends love child, I have been trying to spend as much time with Kamy as I can. I am afraid she is going to feel slighted or something once the baby comes, and I want her to know how special she is to me, so I have been making every effort. I took her out of her after school program, not only because I could not afford to let them ass rape me for the tuition any more, but because I felt that I owed it to my daughter to spend my free time with her. She has been learning how to ride her bike, and napping in my bed with me during the days. We have baked, and run through the sprinklers, and just been together.

It was no joke however, when I mentioned before that I felt myself slipping into a depression. I have gone back and forth more than once with the disease, and it tends to get me by the balls so much easier every time. The sad thing is that I am a smart enough person that I can see and sense my world falling apart around me every time, and the more I try to mentally tell myself I can fix it on my own, the harder it is to come out of the fog.

I thought I had been doing so well. I was truly coming to terms with the unplanned pregnancy that the Hot Boyfriend and I recently found out about, and then I lost my job. That sucked ass pretty badly in itself, not to add the stress of a second baby on the way, and a slow as fuck economy that apparently has no need for people in my profession. At least not a need for someone as over qualified and high paid as I was. I have literally applied for nearly 100 different positions, and have yet to get a single call back. What the fuck is up with my karma?

I guess it just seems like everything that could possibly happen to make matters worse has been happening, and I feel absolutely helpless about it. I feel like I have no control over my life right now, and I hate that so badly. I don’t like to burden others with my problems, because I hate being the person who cries to others, I would much rather be the person to listen when others cry. It just seems like my world is slowly closing in around me, and I am helpless against it.

I hate this feeling.

I know that the only way to make anything better is to be honest to those people who it also affects, but that is the hardest part – admitting defeat once again. I will work though, to keep showing my daughter how important she is to me, and work to find another job before I am too pregnant to hide the belly and land a good job. I guess I just need a bit of support, and understanding, and love. I don’t know, I’m sure this is not more than anyone in my position would ask, but I feel wrong asking for it, even from the people who are most important to me, that would be ever so willing to give me the support I need.

Hopeful, I think,

K

So yeah, yesterday I got laid off. Dammit.

Ok, really the only thing I am upset about is the fact that I have to worry about my health insurance. I will work it out though.

In other news, Britney done went crazy! In all honesty, I figured the girl wasn’t just a druggie with issues, I always kind of thought she had some mental instability, and with a mother like that how could she not. She is being held on a mandatory 72 hour hold (aka 5150) at Cedars Sanai. I hope the poor girl finally gets the help she really needs.

I will post more later, I need to job hunt,

K